7 Steps Putting Yourself First & Stop Mental Suffering


The one thing I learned through my own healing from depression and addiction, and working with many people struggling with the same and other self-esteem issues, is that they don’t put themselves first.


Maybe you recognise yourself in being a people pleaser, a problem solver, a perfectionist, a multitasker, or having the need of being liked by your loved ones or even by strangers.


✅ Do you adapt yourself to others, so that you (mentally) suffer as a result?

✅ Are you having issues with sleeping?

✅ Do you worry much?

✅ Are you beating yourself up if things go wrong?

✅ Are you ashamed when people find out your not super(wo)man?

✅ Do you wish you were different?


If this is you, you definitely need to continue reading.


I'm putting myself first, image for blog 6 Steps Putting Yourself First & Stop Mental Suffering


“I’m putting myself first.”


How much resistance do you get as you repeat the affirmation? “I’m putting myself first.” How uncomfortable do you get?


By adapting yourself towards others for any reason you’re giving away your power. That power needs to be restored and the realisation + action of putting yourself first will automatically shift to a positive result.



Now get ready for my 7 Steps for Putting Yourself First & Stop Mental Suffering.



Step 1. (Mentally) Repeat this affirmation

I challenge you to repeat this affirmation: “I’m putting myself first,” as much as possible today.


Step 2. Be Unapologetic 👊

Be unapologetic when it comes to your own mental health. No discussions. ✋🏽

If your friends & family love you ❤️, they will understandingly provide you the space to do your inner work. They will probably support you more! 🏋🏻‍♀️


Step 3. Be aware of resistance

Resistance often manifests itself as an uncomfortable feeling, or critical and/or even hysterical thoughts. If this happens to you, know that you are on the right track, otherwise the ego wouldn’t be screaming like that. Trust and breathe through the resistance.


Step 4. Take back your power

When your mind triggers you to hold back and put someone else first, say NO!

Even when you’re already doing it, correct yourself and say NO. You can still say no!



you can always say no!

The more you practice it,

the more you’ll feel

strengthened by

taking back

your own power.



Step 5. Say ‘NO’ to yourself too

Mental health means (practice) putting yourself first. I don’t mean this in an egoistic way, but truly from the heart. ❤️ So, this can also mean saying “NO” to something you really want to do, 👎🏽 when that something is not good for your mental health. Yes, learn to say ’NO’ to yourself too. ❌


Step 6. Be patient

Changing a habit takes time. Be patient with yourself and others. Try to make the practice of putting yourself first as fun as possible.


Step 7. Reflect with kindness

Observing and journaling really ads to the process of putting yourself first and taking your power back.

Blog post image Put your own oxygen mask on before helping others



In my years as a flight attendant I’ve shown thousands of people before take off:  “Put your own oxygen mask on before helping others.” 😷 It never resonated with me (even though I was the instructor) until I was in recovery. 🏋🏻‍♀️


So, always remember ‘before take off’ to take care of yourself.  😉


If you have any questions or want to share your experience after watching or reading this blog post 7 Steps Putting Yourself First & Stop Mental Suffering, simply leave a comment below.


From my heart to yours, ❤️




Ps. I meditate regularly online, so for my meditation and yoga class schedule click here, and if you’re interested in a coaching trajectory email me at hello@jjvanzon.com


Pps. As English is not my first language there can be grammar mistakes. Hopefully you can read around this and focus on the essence of the text. Thank you!

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