How to Create Happiness by Addressing Elephant in the Room?
People have problems, and you are people so I guess you have problems too. In this post I’m going to share 5 ways to stop your fears interfering with your happiness by addressing the elephant in the room; FEAR!
These problems that you experience can variate from:
- worry, insecurity, doubt, stress, too many balls in the air, insomnia, controlling, perfectionism, or anxiety what often leads to burn-out
Or you can feel:
- overwhelmed by a negative emotion like anger or jealousy, resentment, spending a lot of your time frustrated, annoyed, complaining, being overal negative, what can lead to depression
These problems have effect on:
- your mental state
- your emotional state
- your physical state
- your social life
- basically your health & wellbeing
These are all stress-related problems that are solvable, because the one thing that is causing them is FEAR!
So let’s talk about the elephant in the room for once!
PEOPLE…, FEAR IS
MESSING WITH US!
Fear is messing with our minds, it’s messing with our health, it’s influencing our lives, it’s manipulating our worlds & our planet in a negative way.
When I started my spiritual journey and realised my ego was manipulating my behaviour, me as a proud stubborn, immediately vowed to be responsible about ALL my behaviour.
No fear was going to be in control of my life no more. I only needed fear to run away from a tiger or other obvious danger, but not trying to unconsciously ‘protect me’ as it were for everything else.
And I get it! The world is dangerous. And all the emotional bagage that we carry with us is not easy to carry. BUT this should never be a reason to be a victim and let fear control our lives.
So therefore you need to bear the next thing I’m going to tell you in mind, because I’m going to tell you a secret.
Are you ready? Are you up for it? ……tadaaaaaaa, here it is!
YOU CAN HANDLE ANYTHING.
Susan Jeffers wrote a phenomenal best selling book; Feel the fear & do it anyway!
This book is the perfect way to create awareness of the devious manipulation that fear has over you, and this understanding will definitely enlighten you.
Remember,
enlightenment comes
when you make
something heavy lighter.
In the book Susan Jeffers describes 3 levels of fear:
The First Level
The first level is about the fear of
- stuff that happens, like; aging, being alone, children leaving home, dying, war, losing a loved one, accidents
- or stuff that requires action, like; going back to school, making decisions, starting a relationship, losing weight, driving your car
The Second Level
The second level goes a bit deeper to what lies beneath. This has to do with inner states of mind rather than exterior situations.
- stuff like; rejection, success, failure, being vulnerable, disapproval, reputation and so on…
The Third Level
The third level of fear is;
I can’t handle it!
At the bottom
of simply every fear
is that you can’t handle
whatever life may bring you.
- Level 1 stuff like; i can’t handle illness, making a mistake, losing my job, getting old, making a fool out of myself
- Level 2 stuff like; I can’t handle responsibility, success, failure, being rejected, someone doesn’t like me.
The truth is: If you knew you could handle anything that comes your way, what would you possible have to fear?
The answer is: NOTHING!
You can handle all your fears without having to control anything in the outside world.
All you have to do
to diminish your fear
is to develop more trust
in your ability to handle
whatever comes your way!
Check out this video of Secret Week that I hosted in 2019. This is day 2 where I address this topic.
5 Ways To Stop Your Fears Interfering With Your Happiness
1. Observe
Witness how fear is influencing your thoughts, words & actions and start to recognise it.
2. Meditate
Sit still and observe for at least 2-3 minutes your fears. What happens in the mind? How does this fear effect my mood & my behaviour? Am I allowing this to happen? Can I do something about it?
3. Affirm
“I hear you fear and I want you to listen to me. I want you to trust that I can handle it. I don’t need you worrying for me. It’s okay if you do, because I acknowledge that’s what you do, but know that I am not listening to you. I trust that I can handle it!”
Remember
you’re not doing this
for someone else,
you’re doing this
for you.
4. Journaling
Share your findings in a notebook or in a file on your laptop. Writing things down helps to take it out of your head. This way it’s easier to recognise & change them.
5. Correct Yourself
Only if you’re comfortable with the previous steps you can start to correct yourself. Whenever you’re aware that fear is taking over and making decisions that YOU should’ve made, correct yourself. Yes, this might mean you need to apologise. The sentence that helped me was: “I’m so sorry I know I said [..that..] but I actually meant [..this..]” I can assure you that you feel so much better after correcting yourself. Remember you’re not doing this for someone else, you’re doing this for you.
Enjoy your fabulous day and remember that you can handle anything
Namasté JJ
ps. Free help & guidance mastering your fears available here. Download 10 free meditations assisting your journey on how to stop your fears interfering with your happiness.
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