How To Build Confidence And Self-Esteem
“Believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic” – Brené Brown
Right before I found the crutches to climb out of depression my self-esteem was as low as it could get. I was very insecure and I doubted everything I did or wanted to. I wasn’t able to stand up for my beliefs, because I had no idea what they were. My record of the last couple of years wasn’t really proof that I could make good decisions, so fear always won me over when it came to believing in myself.
I guess the moment of change happened when I was fed up dealing with this low self-esteem and I started to long for a world without it. Hope became my friend. I turned my fear into faith. The alternative of NOT heading this new direction made me follow through on this new quest. I knew I had a long way to go, but I was willing to do the work.
Here are four steps that will guide you building your confidence and self-esteem:
Step 1: Imagine
Allowing yourself to imagine a world where you can be anyone who you want to be and where you can achieve anything your heart desires serves you in your quest to more confidence. Visualise everyday what you desire. See yourself living it as if it’s happening right now. Believe that you’ve already achieved it and remember that feeling. Any sceptical thoughts or awkward emotions originate from the voice of fear. Learn to distinguish what comes from fear and what comes from love. What comes from fear wants you to shut your quest down. What comes from love provides you with hope what will move you forward.
Step 2: Accept
You come to terms with your low self-esteem. Everything you have experienced made you the person you’re today. Only at the present moment can you fully embrace a better future. So that’s what you need to establish…becoming present! Meditation is the #1 tool that will give you the easiest and fastest results. When you’re a beginner click here for a meditation album that will get you acquainted and shows you the first steps to meditation. What you can also try is positive self-talk or mirror work. I encourage you to look in the mirror and embrace who you’ve become. Practice this as much as possible. Many people who have low self-esteem don’t like to look at themselves. I encourage you to go against your urges. By really looking at yourself you will see a person who’s in need of guidance. At this moment you might be a lost, troubled or disconnected, but at the core you’re a beautiful soul who desires change. I realise the self talk can be very confronting, so I give you now some text I use that will counter the negative talk and restore the balance.
“I look at you and I see a worthy person. I’m a spirit experiencing human life. This by itself is extraordinary. This makes me extraordinary. Love is beautiful and I come from love, so at this moment I distance myself from all fear-based opinions and embrace the beauty within me. I am perfect. I am enough. I’m worthy and deserving of everything my heart desires. I accept who I’ve become. I (will learn to) love myself.”
Use meditation and positive self-talk to your advantage. It will bring you confidence and build your self-esteem.
Step 3: Work
A desire isn’t enough. You need to be willing and devoted to a practice. Results won’t come by standing at the sideline. You need to be in the arena. You need to be willing to get your hands dirty. The magic word is consistency. You have to realise that you’ve been wrapped around fears finger for a long time. Fear knows exactly which buttons to push for you to give up. Its manipulation is of high standard. Never underestimate the influence of fear. A constant practice will restore the balance. Especially at first you need to put in time and effort to be aware of fear, become present so you can attract loving thoughts and feelings.
I advice meditation as most effective, but there are much more tools you can use in a daily spiritual practice.
Step 4: Trust
Your journey will never end. I’ve got a lot of clients who believe that when they’re enlightened they’ve reached their goal and that’s it! I wish this was the case, but unfortunately you need to keep your practice up, otherwise you’ll lower the veil and fear will slowly take over again.
But your life exists out of highs and lows, so when you’re experiencing doubts and insecurity trust that by inviting love into your life by doing a daily practice you’re supported and you don’t have to worry. Stress is a nice way in for fear to manipulate you. Always know that love is on your side. You come from love. You are love. Fear is around us, but you will never be unworthy to receive love. When you feel that way, fear is messing with you. You are good enough to be whoever you want to be. Trust in love and it will serve you in your quest to build your confidence and self-esteem.
I’ve written an e-book with my whole story regarding my quest to gain more confidence. It comes with six guided meditations that will serve you with your quest. When you’re in need to build your confidence and self-esteem I highly recommend this package. You can check it out here.
Let me know if you have questions, stories or experiences to tell. Please share them in a comment below. I will reply to each one personally.
Ps. As English is not my first language there can be grammar mistakes. Hopefully you can read around this and focus on the essence of the text. Thank you!
Pps. Purchase the Grow Your Self-Belief Meditation Album + additional e-book here