Today we shine a light on emotions, how to control your emotions and I’ll share my 4 step method. 

Often we react from an emotion that NOT comes from our authentic Self.

When you identify yourself with a thought it becomes an emotion. Now, first of all, emotions aren’t bad!

Yes, anger and jealousy have a negative charge, but its fear that ignites the emotion so it blows up.

When fear convinced you that you are the emotion it causes a block.


Step 1: Allow The Emotion

When you’re trapped in an emotion my advice is to allow it, because when you’re trying to hide it or control it, you’ll start an inner battle that you will always loose.

Burn out is a very good example of bottled up emotions. If you’re suppressing emotions for a long time they’re bound to show up eventually. Therefore you need to deal with your emotions sooner or later.


Step 2: Recognise The Emotion

Witness that you’re experiencing this emotion. Recognise it, so you create a distance between YOU and the urge or impulse.


Step 3: Choose to respond authentically

During my spiritual journey I learned you can act in two ways. Out of fear and out of a place of love. Fear causes distance between you and your authenticity. The urge or impulse is the first sign for this distance. When you react from a loving place you will stay more connected to your authentic Self. So I have here an affirmation that you can implement when an emotion causes an urge or impulse.

“I feel [negative emotion], but this emotion doesn’t define me as a person. I don’t identify with this emotion. I allow it and choose to respond authentically”


Step 4: Meditate On It Daily

You want to stay in control of your emotions, so you need to know what’s going on in your head. The best tool to do this is meditation. Click here for a basic meditation.

In our world we are not brought up dealing with emotions. “Push it away, I don’t have the time for this, it’s too hard, i’ll deal with it later …”

But you are walking on thin ice here, because fear sees a chance to interfere. Fear uses those unprocessed emotions as ammunition. It’s a way in.

If you relate to this, you need to protect yourself from fear messing with your mind. You need to keep recognising fear as it’s shapeshifting through emotions in front of you.




Observe your emotions

Public places are the best playgrounds to educate yourself. I get frustrated, impatient and even show signs of anxiety when they’re a lot of strange people around me. How do you react when you’re in a que? What emotions pops up when you’re in a traffic jam?

This is where you’ll recognise the emotions that pop up. Again, awareness is the key to healing and changing.


Journal about your findings

At the end of your day journal about it. Describe the emotions that you felt. Did you automatic hide it or did you expressed it in a way that wasn’t authentic? How did these emotions make you feel?


Meditate on it

Sit comfortable and connect with your body. How do you feel? What comes up? Allow your emotions to be present. Instead of resistance practice allowing your emotions to be present. Remember you’re not your emotions. You don’t have to identify with the emotion. You just have to allow it to be there.


Share your stories with your friends

Shame can’t survive when you talk about it. Put what’s occupying your mind in words and share this. Often thoughts stay in the mind and stay in a loop. This causes stagnation. Talking about it is a wonderful way to keep the flow of thoughts happening. Refresh your mind.


Have an amazing day re-connecting with your authentic Self.

Namasté JJ


ps. email me at hello@jjvanzon.com when you’re in need of coaching on this matter. 

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